It is today. It is only today when I can tell myself not to deny the fact. To deny it any sooner would've ruined my life but now, it is time to let it out. Not to pull anymore covers over it and bring it out into the bright light.

I had never had any friends at all. I have none. I am my only confidant.

I returned seeking to understand better the tie between myself and the institution. But instead, I relived the horrors, the absolute reason my life was a living hell back then. Why? I am, and always will be an alternative genre. I am, and always will be alone. I am, and always will be different from these things we call people. Amidst the utter chaos, I realised how everything was back then. I'd forgotten but now I will remember. Following people around like a dog. Things that don't have a heart. Things that don't listen. Things that can only talk about senseless, useless, utterly superficial, stupidity, moronic other things. If it wasn't about how our lives were shit or how homework was shit it was about boyfriends, girlfriends, who's hot who's sexy who's with who who broke up with who. This world only exists for itself. It cares not for substance but fleeting beauty and deception.

It was full of lies. And probably still is now.

I thought, maybe, I could remember how I'd grown stronger back then. How I'd known more than I had before. I guess it was never about the institution in the first place.

Elevate, I need to elevate myself from this whirring blur before I become engulfed in it's lies and deception and become one of it's kind.