For my own entertainment, not yours.


A job description to Island Creamery should probably read this:

Part-time or Full-time vounteers required

Job description:

You will not get paid for the time you spend here, however, you will be given incentives of $6/hr for the total amount of shit the boss makes you eat.

Points to note for a most fruitful experience working here:

Persistently insist (preferably like a dog) that you be taught how to scoop the ice cream even if the boss says it is your first day and you will not scoop any ice cream or do anything else other than lovingly bond with the cash register.

A good idea of how to treat customers would be to behave the total opposite of how the boss behaves toward you.

Anyone who shows the slightest sign of discomfort such as a raised eyebrow, blank face or prolonged silent treatment to none other than the boss will be fired immediately.

Things to bring along which you might need to use:

A clothes peg, preferably large enough to clip your nose with should you find the neighbourhood rubbish centre sweeter smelling than the cloths you will be provided with to wipe tables.

A personal watch, as we absolutely will not inform you when your shift is up because we desperately require people to eat additional shit for 2-3 hrs even if they do not intend to. For this reason, you will find a clock in total non-existence within the compound.


Remember, it is not how much you can do. It is how much shit you can and are able to eat that is key. If you are one who is able to:

Eat the amount of shit given to you in record time,
Show absolutely no signs of puking whatsoever,
Beg for more shit to be bestowed upon you,
And even lick the boss' boots thereafter,

You are the one we are looking for! Call us now!