I am. Trying to get everyone's ultimate weapons. I think it's only the right time since the Dark Aeons have sprouted all over Spira. And now, I am confronted with the most ridiculous, most crazy feats.

I adjourned back to Thunder Plains to pray to the glowing cactuar stones and find myself jiving to the beat of the lightning bolts. Goodness gracious. In a good mood I could dodge 50 consecutive bolts without flinching. Tidus got hit the next instant when I blinked.

Anyway, I managed to find the last glowing cactuar stone which was hidden in some nook I didn't even know existed (it was on the map anyway. Maybe I'm just slow and dumb). So after Kimahri got his Spirit Lance, I tried to continue on and maybe get Lulu's Sigil as well. Alas, this time I went till 96 bolts before getting hit.

It is terribly taxing and disappointing as well after Tidus gets hit. So it's off to Macalania! Where I attempt the butterfly mini-game.

It is one thing to keep failing at it over and over again. But 'tis another when you find out it wouldn't have been SO DIFFICULT if you had attempted and completed it earlier in the game! Egads!

Okay, I was like this: close to ripping out every strand of rebonded hair on my scalp. Who knew it was so so hard to catch those 7 blue butterflies in 30 seconds.

Luckily. with the help of this page it has left me a little less clueless as to which route I'm supposed to take right at the end before grabbing that 6th butterfly, the part where I ram into a whole bunch of red ones.

But that's still not enough, you gotta have a lil bit of skill there. Or should I say a whole LOT of skill.

Okay, why am I writing this? It's because I've completed that first butterfly mini-game (yes I still have another one to go! Argh!). Right at the part where Tidus glides pass the 15th red butterfly, you'd encounter the 3 red butterfly sandwich. It's by far the only difficult part of the mini-game. At that particular corner, in order to move in between the two red butterflies as indicated on the map, position Tidus at the centre on the path.

The way the butterflies flutter around make some sort of silly illusion that the red one to the left of Tidus seems too darn close and as such one would be compeled to swing further to the right where the red butterfly there gets you.

The trick is: Don't look at the butterflies! Look at Tidus' feet! Once you've successfully travel through the first 2 insects at that corner, the third won't be a problem. Just lean towards the edge of the path, pass it easily and grab the 6th butterfly.

Now's the moment where time runs out. I got pass the first obstacle and ran out of time, can you believe it! Argh. The 7th butterfly is fluttering itself nearer the right side of the path (Tidus' right). So make sure you keep leaning towards the right after collecting the 6th and move quickly to grab the 7th. The reds won't be too much of a problem here.


Now. To meet my fate. The second butterfly mini-game.

I am going to have butterfly nightmares tonight... ...

I am listening to Cowboy Bebop CD Box Disc 3 as I type this. Probably one of the most funkiest music I've set my ears on. Yoko Kanno rocks.

Anyway, here I am. I'm typing this because I need to leave more footprints than just emo ones. And for others (please wave if you're there) who need to know if I've got anything other than angst in that ill lil heart of mine.

Sigh, anyway, right now. I've got my eyes on animation and games. It's not even Digital Media Design or interactive media design or design or what nots. Its hardcore Games and Animation. Means being a key part of those production crew that churn out your PS2 games or whatever game consoles you'll have in the future or probably someone involved in animation like Disney, drawing those frames or the next anime you might catch on TV or download if you like things fast.

Why? I. Seriously don't know? I don't think of anything quite so much as these. It's all I have. It's all I think of. It's all that this worldly world could ever give me. Everytime the world hurts me, or someone hurts me, or I just fell down and cut myself. I'd run to these places. And I would watch these people, characters, tell me their story. More so than just the colourful pictures and slick cool moves cleverly and skillfully choreographed, they are the things that mould me, that make me ME.

If you'd really actually want to know, we can start from the beginning. I was 12, first contact was with one of the Ranma movies. Nekonron in China, that was the title. Before that, I had never even heard of this popular series. A boy doused with water becomes a girl. Another becomes a pig. A girl called SHAMPOO (can you believe that? lols.) becomes a cat. My goodness. What preposterousness. And there we go, a girl who finds an ancient scroll has to become the wife of some strange (but cool) looking gentleman who has chopsticks and a bowl of rice as his weapons. Bizarre indeed. What a bizarre world. But why, why did it leave me craving for more anime. Maybe it was the delicately crafted scenes, how one scene led to another. Maybe it was the themes, the behaviour of the characters, their chemistry, the imaginative too-good-to-be-true world in which such wonders happened in. Maybe also, a kind of longing to be in such a place, or live one of the characters' life.

That started some sort of clockwork in my brain and the next, since the Lord allowed, I tore out the pages of Anime Festival 1999 from the SCV magazine all set for the times and dates of virtually every single anime described in the book. I read and re-read the descriptions, scrutinised the pictures, got myself prepared for every one and diligently caught all of them, though I didn't understand all of 'em. I was exposed to the highly complex and confusing as well, Ghost In The Shell. Didn't understand that at all. What puppetmaster are the babbling about and the next moment it's almost the end, two severed cyborg heads in a tent or something, talking to each other. What? I didn't get it but I liked it somehow. There were a whole lot more that I did understand and enjoyed, stuff like Twin Signal, Yamato Takeru, though they never showed that again. Basically, where characters talk big and/or talk a lot accompanied with sparse or staggered periods of action were probably the ones I didn't understand. But anime is anime. Anime is so different in itself. You've got this and that and you've got those telling a story of friendship, perseverence, courage (courage is a common one) then there's romance, most stories have at least one part about romance, and there's feelings. Lots of it. People crying, people laughing, people dying, people who give their lives to other people or sacrifice themselves for a certain ideal. People who betray, people who live for themselves, live for their loved ones.

Need I say any more? They are my teachers, teachers of the harsh reality, teachers of emotion, teachers of relationships, teachers of character. They told me to have courage even in the face of death. They told me to fight for what is right. They told me to trust in myself or my friends in the worst situations. They taught me that life is precious (lols. Quoted from rurouni kenshin by none other than kenshin himself), more importantly, which is why we should make the most as well as the best we can of it. Man, hell if I wasn't quite so dumbstruck and had kept in touch with at least some of my 'teachers' over these past few years I might've been able to rattle on about all the other wondrous things they've taught me.

But you get the idea, they are the things that have shown me the way, that have held my hand and taken me along that bumpy path of life even before actually experiencing it. They've lovingly cradled me and let me peep out from my little cubbyhole to witness the bewilderment, pain, love, incredibility that is life. That is us. That is the world around us. That is the strange phenomena that occur in some special people's lives.

Anime has given me a heart, a heart that knows there is warmth even in the coldest hearts. Given me eyes to turn to the truth of situations. It is intense, diverse, emotional, interesting, disturbing but because of all that, was it able to educate me on the core topics of life, ways of life, and maybe death as well.

Violence only leads to more violence. Kenshin said that. Naruto's worst experience was being alone, not being recognised by anyone, being an outcast. Maybe it is mine too, or my worst fear. No one can truly be alone. That's probably one of the greatest truths.

I guess, it is my time to give back what I have been greatly blessed and endowed with. The experience to be taught by one of the greatest teachers ever. Maybe, it isn't such a foreign concept anymore is it? It would probably be, my greatest homour ever. To create with my own scrawny hands the beauty and tragedies of life depicted as part of an anime, with the purpose of educating not only the young, but touching those who perhaps have lost the purity of childhood or waking the innocence within any individual who has the patience to stay.

Don't you see? It is almost blasphemy to reduce it to mere entertainment, mere time-while-awayers. It is an art that blesses souls and probably, gives you meaning living in this deceptive time.